Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Ake and Metro trains

"The worse news is that when we were finally flying, there was a guy in front of me who kept acting like RwandAir was his private jet and the flight attendants were being paid by his father. And another guy across the aisle who got air sick and threw up on his neighbour. I knew a few seconds after it happened because the dude next to me said disgustedly, 'Oh my God-o'. This could have been possible material for a good short story but unfortunately for me, it has already been done and done well in the current Caine Prize anthology by Nkiacha Atemnkeng in a story entitled 'Wahala Lizard" Zukiswa Wanner.

European passenger in arrival hall: Do you have metro trains here? I would like to board one out of Douala.
Me (feeling shocked): No
Passenger: Ok
Me (thinking): See me see trouble oh! Metro trains in Cameroon abi! That one na for 2035 abeg when we go be emerging nation. You no google up speed for CAMRAIL trains before you dey come here? They're faster than the French Metro trains and they know how to break down and just stop in the middle of nowhere, well well.