Reader: Stares at my Caine Prize workshop story and goes, “Wahala Lizard, is he Nigerian?”
Abubakar Adam Ibrahim: You mean Nkiacha? He’s a Nigerian on the other side of the border.
Obi-Young: But you could so easily be Nigerian. You have our It-ness.
Me: I don’t have a Nigerian face!
Obi-Young: Nigerian face is a concept that’s up for debate
Me: Ok, interesting! How do I have your It-ness? Abeg elaborate.
Obi-Young: I’m not sure how but I just feel it. Honestly.
Kiprop Kimutai: Your accent is like a Nigerian’s. You speak like them.
Me: First time I’m hearing that one. Lol. I don’t know. But we’re neighbours. And I've read Nigerian Literature much more than Cameroonian Literature.
Akwaeke Emezi: (Pointing at me with both hands) “You’re a Lagos boy!”
Me: Lol. What does that one mean? Lagos boy?
Merde, why do all these my peeps think I'm a Nigerian born to Cameroonian parents? Nobe small ting oh