Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Solange Knowles attacks Jay-Z

My humorous imagination about what went down in that elevator.
Solange: This elevator ain’t goin nowhere
Jay-Z: Like ur career?
Solange: Fuck u Sean Carter, who do you think u are? Because u call yourself God MC you think you run the music world? Eminem is sicker than you. 
Jay-Z: And Beyonce is a lot cooler than u but she married me. Booooooo!
Solange advances, slaps, insults, kicks, kicks, kicks, pulled back by body guard, breaks free, kicks n screams “who run the world? Girls” kicks “who run the world? Girls” kicks.
Beyonce: (thinkin) Oh my God! Is this my sister? Solange Knowles!!! Nah, this ain’t. it’s an alter ego called Solange Know-less. Oh my God she’s kicking kicking n “Jumping Jumping”
Guard: “Halo” Queen Bey “Check on it” before I separate the attack. You got her back or his back?
Beyonce: Don’t “Say my name”
Guard: Uh?
Beyonce: I said don’t “Say my name”(Bey thinkin) If I jump in on Jay’s back its gon be like I don’t love ma sister, and all da “Single ladies” n even Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie gon think I’m not a feminist anymore. If I jump in on Solange’s back, they gon think I don’t love ma husband n I’m not “Drunk in love”.U know wat? I ain’t got nobody’s back, I’mma stay mute cos I’m an “Independent Woman”.
Jay-Z: (avoiding kicks n pleadin) Yoh, Solange stop, this is ‘Hard knock life” you’re raining on me. I was just “Frontin”, no Pharell, we’re “Happyyyyyyyy” right? I’ll do “Anythin” for u, H to the Izzo, S to the Soso, Solange stop, tu fait “Encore” ca? we’ll go 2 da 40/40 sports bar and do some “Big Pimpin” aight? Stop.
Guard pulls away Solange n out of the elevator
Jay-Z: I used to have 99 problems but a b… ain’t one. Now I got 99 problems and Solange ain’t one. I’ma just go ahead and “Change Clothes” Beyonce nods.
Guard: “Hey Papi” that girl can kick man! Like Jean Claude Vandamme, like Jet Li or somethin.
Jay-Z: She should be in dem movies or dem fight cartoons “Naruto” and “Dragon Ball” the female Sango Koo or somethin
Guard: And it’s the only hit she’s had in years! And I’m just thinkin, if it was Pac, he would have given her some “Thug life” and her face would have had some “Changes” if it was DMX, then we’d hear the revenge kicks along with angry big voice chants ‘what these bitches want from a nigga” if it was Bobby Brown or Chris Brown, hmmmmm, then a guy like Brizzy would have made sure her face had some of that "I can transform ya” But it’s you, Jay, cultured nigga, not laying hands on a woman even when attacked.
Jay-Z: smiles. “Dirt off ma shoulder…”
Beyonce: He’s a “Survivor”
Jay-Z: Thanks Bey. Hey big dude, get me 2 “New York” got a concert to catch with Alicia Keys in New Yooooooooork.......