God: Nkiacha make a wish
tonight
Me: Oh God! Please, please can
you let NoViolet Bulawayo win the Booker Prize?
God: Hmmm, I’ll see about that.
I won’t tell you what I’ll do anyway.
Me: Why?
God: The ways of God are not
the ways of man.
Me: She’s not even the media
favourite and she’s a debut novelist! There are two others who are favourites.
God: Anything can happen, I can
make anybody win. In 1997 I made a debut novelist, Indian writer Arundhati Roy
to win the Booker.
Me: Maybe its because she
included your name in the title of her book “The God of small things” even though you’re a God of big things.
God: Hahaha, that’s funny!
Me: Will you let Colm Toibin
win because of the novel title “The Testament of Mary”? You know, virgin Mary
gave birth to your son, Jesus Christ.
God: Maybe Jim Crace will
“Harvest” the Booker
Me: Really?
God: Hey, I was just doing what
you are doing!
Me: Hahaha, God, there’s a fake
prophet in “We need new names” called Prophet Revelations Bitchington Mborro
who’s using your name and tricking people to make money.
God: Hmmm, when I see him I
will wallop him on the head like Bastard walloped that little kid on the head
in “Hitting Budapest.”
Me: Hahaha.
God: What if Eleanor Catton
illuminates the Booker with “The Luminaries”?
Me: Then my heart will be in
“The Lowland” Jhumpa Lahiri style.
God: Hahaha. What if I make
your NoViolet to win?
Me: Yes, yes, then it would be
“A tale for the time being.”
God: So you want Ruth Ozeki to
win uh???
Me: No, no, no God, I want my
NoViolet to win please, please, please.
God: Whether your NoViolet wins
the Booker Prize or not. She’s already a winner with the instant impact she
made with her debut novel. She’s a history maker already, the first black
African woman to get shortlisted for the prestigious Booker Prize and she’ll
come up with better novels in future, you understand?
Me: Aight God, it’s a Booker
book indeed, “We Need New Names” in African Literature like NonViolent Bulawayo, sorry God, NoViolet Bulawayo.
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