Saturday, April 27, 2013

My funny 2011 story, the main rhyme is /i/

What if Dallas Mavericks never had Nowiski? What if he never even left Germany? What if Derick Rose was at Miami and the Miami three were at Oklahoma City? What if Chicago bulls’ MJ had been the other MJ’s DJ or even producer like Quincy? What if artists like lady Gaga and Jigga weren’t into freemasonry and illuminati and Chris brizzy hadn’t slapped and smacked RiRi? What if “Ready to die” wasn’t ever released by Biggy and “The carter three” wasn’t by Weezy? What if Dre had refused to sign slim shady & Fifty and Fifty never did the Formula 50 business and Nate dogg never had the stroke illness? What if a few years ago, Justin bieber didn’t upload his performances on U-tube regularly? What if Whitney had never married Bobby and Jay-z and Diddy never had all the money ?What if cash money/young money never talked about money and What if my favourite “Bone thugs n harmony” had appeal like Young money’s Nicki and Nicki had instead pursued her dream of acting, appearing and staring in movie after movie? What if James Cameron never directed the record breaking “Avatar” movie and Will smith finally won his much awaited first Oscar Academy as he won the first ever Rap grammy, especially after appearing in movie after movie? What if he had accepted the lead role he was offered in “The Matrix” movie? What if Jaden smith finally wins the Academy for Daddy Willy and Willow won a grammy for “21st century…”. What if Trey smith dropped the foot ball quarter back training and started the other football training as a right back for Milan AC or Egypt’s Al Ahly? What if Barca never had Messi and he was instead playing at Napoli? Could Leo Messi still make games so messy? What if Eto’o chased the money and moved to Man City and Roman “AbramoviC” sold Chelsea, bought Man City together with zlatan “IbrahimoviC” and maintained Mancini at Man City? What if Arsenal’s owners get weary, that Arsene of Arsenal hasn’t won a trophy in 6 years which is a sad history, sack him and disgruntled players leave like Nasri, Rosicky and Ramsey? What if Ramsey wasn’t Irish but English? And Prince William and Kate Middleton had twice never kissed? What if the hit men oBama ordered to kill oSama had missed? What if the media had publicized the missed “bullet,” how would it affect next year’s presidential “ballot”? What if Mark Zuckerberg had never invented facebook, gone back to Harvard to reading his fat books, completed his degree study, so that his parents could be happy when he had a job in a company to earn big money and push away poverty and misery? Well, damn the degree because it is as a result of his uncompleted study, that he had time to make facebook a reality, which is why you are reading my funny story and comedy. And yes, I’m crazy about the sound /i/.
NB: I wrote this at a friend’s house one evening. After we had talked about sport/entertainment (but nothing about the /I;/, ) this idea just popped into my head after listening to Jadakiss' song "What if" and I was like “why can’t I write an appealing story weaving many things in sport/entertainment/politics together but going “through the wire” with one main rhyme?” I told him to give me a pen&paper and I scribbled this for 20 minutes. As I was writing, I thought I could post it on facebook so I concluded with Zuckerberg. When I finished, I read it aloud and he laughed for almost the same 20 minutes too, seized the paper from my hand saying, “I will never give this back to you again, I will own it because you wrote it in my house” protecting the paper like an egg and he didn’t. The whole story was still in my head so I just went back home and typed it on my laptop laughing at my friend’s act.